But…

So what can I say about 2017. 2017 was truly a year of transition for me. I lost a lot in 2017 but I also gained a lot in 2017. I lost a job but gained a business. I lost an apartment but gained a house. I lost a car but gained an even better car and finally just as 2017 was about to come to an end…I lost my earthly father but I gained more faith and trust in my heavenly one.

This year has truly taught me that there is a blessing just on the other side if we can press in and push through. That being said I don’t want to give the impression that any of this was easy because this year has been one of the most difficult years of my life.

There was so much heartache and pain that I felt broken many, many times. There were many moments where I thought “I can’t do this.  I am not strong enough. I don’t have the knowledge, the know how, or the energy for this!” There were tear stained pillows and sleepless nights. People who I thought would love me through it ended up being the ones that hurt me the most.

I was angry, sad, mad and at times I felt completely hopeless… but God. Those two little words (but God) became my saving grace. See resilience is built on a strong foundation. I remembered my rock.

Psalm 78:35 And they remembered that God was their rock, And the Most High God their Redeemer.

I remembered who it is that I serve. So I had to make a choice. Do I give up or do I believe in the one that has held me up since the beginning of time. My God is not a man that he shall lie. His word will not return void. He has written the story of my life from beginning to end. He knows what lies before me. He guides, orders, and protects me so though I walk through the valley I shall fear nothing because I know my God is with me and his favor will follow me all the days of my life.

Not only did I have to say these words over and over just to have the will to raise my head in the morning but I had to etch them on my heart to be able to keep breathing until night. There was so many times when I said, “If I can just touch the hem of his garment. Then the bleeding will stop. And the life within me will be restored.” I reached for his hem daily and there were days that I fell short.

There were days that the anger and pain that I held within threatened to consume me…but God. But God. The God of hope. The God of love. There is nothing that can separate me from his love. So though there are parts of 2017 that still linger. There are still struggles that I am having to see my way through.

The storm isn’t quite over yet but I proclaim that 2018 is still a year of victory. I proclaim that every promise will be fulfilled. Every vision will come to fruition. Though we may not understand everything. Though it may seem as if everything is at a standstill. Though we may want a mountain to move or a sea to split wait patiently and faithfully because your Abba God is working tirelessly on your behalf so be still and know that he is God!

So I enter 2018 with hope and faith. With a belief that will always allow me to smile…

4 thoughts on “But…

  1. Glad to see you’re still writing ❤

    On Jan 2, 2018 1:08 PM, “charolynmckoy.wordpress.com” wrote:

    > charlivinlifegmailcom posted: “So what can I way about 2017. 2017 was > truly a year of transition for me. I lost a lot in 2017 but I also gained a > lot in 2017. I lost a job but gained a business. I lost an apartment but > gained a house. I lost a car but gained an even better car and fina” >

    Like

  2. Yaaaaasss! This was right on time! Thank you, Charolyn, for sharing your words, wisdom, and story of grace & perseverance….truly inspirational ❤

    Like

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